This post is the first in a series on the importance of de-escalation when it comes to parenting your children, and includes a simple breakdown of parenting styles and how those styles influence child outcomes. This post will breakdown the four most recognized and researched parenting styles. It is researched-backed. I encourage you to read this blog post to help you identify your parenting style and how that style may be affecting you and your children.

It is important to note that this is simplified and does not take into account other extenuating factors within a family.

To understand how to de-escalation can be an effective parental tool, we must first understand the general parenting styles that exist among the current population according to research over many years. This list is not all encompassing but touches on the most recognized parenting styles mainly based on the work by a psychologist named Diana Baumrind.

1. Authoritative

-High expectations and high responsiveness

-Set rules and Boundaries

-Provide clear explanations

-Teach values

-Goal focused

-“democratic parenting style”

Children raised with this parenting style tend to be the most well-developed children. They are more independent, active, have higher academic performance, more positive mental health, less violence, less drug and alcohol abuse, and tend to have healthier relationships as an adult.

2. Authoritarian

-High levels of control coupled with high expectations, but low responsiveness.

-Expect blind obedience (“because I am your parent!”)

-Strict rules

-Discipline that is harsh

-Higher rates of corporal punishment

-Coercive parenting methods (dominating, overpowering, seeks status distinctions)

-Generally not nurturing

-Want kids to be “tough”

Children tend to be less happy and have lower self-esteem, exhibit less self control and have behavioral issues, higher instances of drug and alcohol abuse, higher likelihood of mental health issues such as anxiety and depression, lower academic performance, higher rate of tantrums, and have lessened coping skills.

3. Permissive- Indulgent

-Set little to no rules or boundaries


-Warm towards children

-If rules are set, unlikely to be followed

Children tend to have lower levels of self control, rule following, and relationship issues as they grow.

4. Permissive- Neglectful

=Both low demandingness and low responsiveness

-No boundaries, no standards

-Uninvolved with child

-Indifferent to child’s needs


Children tend to display delinquent behaviors, addiction issues, mental health issues, and increased suicide rates.

As children, we grew with certain parenting styles and can perhaps see some characteristics in ourselves as a result. We can choose to parent within any style that we choose, but if may take overcoming childhood issues in order to do so.

In order to change or better your parenting style, you first need to know what parenting style you currently practice.

Take a quiz here!

Stay tuned for the next post coming soon!

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